What if we could create a work place where we are really “Real?” Yes, Real, Authentic, and Genuine. Where we take the posturing and insecurities out of the work place and say what is really going on for us. What if we could step over nothing and be honest but in a way that was kind and helpful to others? I see the beauty of this in the groups that we work with and I can’t tell you enough how freeing it is for them to actually create a team that is safe and open. Simply said, if we are aware and honest about our stuff and about other’s stuff, our teams are happier and more productive. If we could utilize staff development time to train our associates how to better do this we would save a lot of time, energy and money!
Change Takes Courage
This takes a lot of courage to be the leader that is transparent and open to feedback and change. A team that has courage enough to say, in a respectful and helpful way, what is going on for them and what they’re needs are. Then using this courage to check-in on your own perceptions, which may be uncomfortable or make you vulnerable.
Perception Check in Small Steps
One baby step to doing this is to think about someone that rubs you the wrong way. Perhaps they aren’t doing what you think they should or they say things that make you feel bad. Think of what is going on for you. What values of yours are being threatened, ignored or just plain trampled on? What do you think could be the values that are being threatened, ignored or just plain trampled for the other person? What is their intention? Is that really their intention or is that your perception of their intention? Now, check in with them. For example: “When you respond to an email that the client sent to me but cc’d you on it makes me feel like you don’t think I will respond correctly or fast enough. I am sure that is not your intention but it is how I feel.” After you say what is going on for you be silent, allow some time for them to process this information and see what they say. Your tone of voice and body language will be key here. As long as you are really just trying to figure out what is going on and you are assuming good intentions, this conversation can have a turning point for you and for the other person. They will have new insight of what bothers you and you will have the knowledge about why they are behaving in a particular way. You can stop worrying about it and move on to getting your work done.
Your Challenge
I am challenging you to give this a try with a situation that you are experiencing. Please post your comments as I would be interested to hear how it went for you.